How to “prevent” programmers from slacking off at work?

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Who says leaders don’t lose hair? That’s because you are not a leader yet.

Recently, something has been bothering me so much that my hairline is getting higher and higher. I found that many of my subordinates are slacking off. Especially the programmers, who are always slacking off. They are taking my salary for free and browsing some messy things. I can't stand it.

But I also sowed the bitter fruit.

The company has fully implemented a result-oriented approach, looking at results and effects in everything. Logically, I shouldn't ask what my subordinates do on a daily basis, but I find that my heart doesn't allow it.

I really can't stand seeing someone doing nothing, even if he's doing his job well.

After a long time of thinking, I finally came up with the following tips to stop programmers from slacking off. My fellow programmers, take action now.

How to fish

I didn't object to this kind of work mode at first, but people kept reporting to me: xxx watched movies at work, xx read comics at work, xxx was idle in the WeChat group every day...

What's more, some people have even summarized some techniques...

After hearing this many times, I realized the seriousness of the matter: If I don’t take action, I won’t be able to sleep well. After all, if I can save these slacking time, they can create greater value for me.

In the first round, cut off the external network and use the local area network

If you are not ruthless, you cannot be a leader. After learning from my mistakes, I decided to use the ultimate weapon right from the start! Disconnect the Internet!

We set up a local area network in the company and made a knowledge base of commonly used SDK source codes and documents. We use ElasticSearch to index all documents. Whenever you want to find an API, you can log in to our dedicated platform and search.

There may be some pain at first, but once everyone is familiar with this development model, you will find that the efficiency increases exponentially. Within three months, programmers will be forced to memorize the commonly used APIs by heart, and naturally write programs very quickly.

The overall architecture diagram is as follows. I think this is a very wonderful technical solution, and I can’t wait to see its effect.

Second round: signal jammers installed in toilets

Now we need to solve the second problem: how to reduce the time these people spend in the toilet.

If we think about this problem from the perspective of multithreading, the solution is relatively simple. Going to the toilet is CPU-exclusive. In addition to reducing the exclusive time and creating an efficient toilet atmosphere, another effective solution is to reduce the number of CPUs. In an extreme case, only one CPU is left and the time spent on this part is serialized, but this is not practical.

I have always hated armchair discussions, and after careful evaluation, I decided to reduce the number of pits to 4. When there is a long queue outside, the friends squatting in the pit will no longer be embarrassed to slack off inside, and the conflict will shift to the programmers.

But I changed this improvement measure back soon. The reason was that one time I was in a hurry and waited outside a pit for a long time without any free time. In the end, I had to go to the company next door to solve the problem and took a pit.

I deeply reflected on such inhumane measures, and finally decided to address the source.

The toilets have been restored, but signal blockers have been installed in each toilet. So if you go to the toilet without toilet paper, you can't notify your colleagues on WeChat to bring some over. You can only rely on yourself.

Rely on your own ability to prepare for a rainy day or handle emergencies.

After the jammer was installed, the rotation of the pits was significantly more efficient. However, some students installed offline games and downloaded offline novels on their mobile phones, so this method was useless.

I heard that there is a way to swipe a card to enter the toilet, which can accurately count the frequency of toilet visits, but because the equipment has a certain cost, this high-tech model has never been promoted.

In the third round, an anti-slacking team was established

But I found that there are still programmers who can access the Internet, which is not a problem for me. All the loopholes are just because I haven't done it well enough.

Whenever someone tells me that it is difficult to prohibit individuals from using hotspots to surf the Internet, I always turn a blind eye. How can someone do that?

Although I don't want to buy high-end testing equipment, I have other options.

In order to eradicate these bad habits of programmers, I set up a special anti-slacking team. The team members would walk around the corridor every day. If they saw an employee who was able to access the Internet or turned on a hotspot, they would confiscate his tools and criticize and educate him.

If joint liability is added, this method will be even better. If one person goes online, the whole group will suffer. In order to get the full salary, the members of the group will supervise each other and finally put an end to the behavior of opening hotspots.

The effect is surprisingly good. It turns out that no matter how good the equipment is, it is not as good as human treatment.

End

To sum up the effects of this series of measures, I think it is very worthwhile. First of all, our IT equipment has become very safe, and hackers have no place to use their skills.

Secondly, our employees have greatly improved their technical skills under this model. A subordinate once proudly told me that I helped him memorize the JDK code. Now he can write a netty with his bare hands.

Finally, this greatly cultivates the endurance of employees. Sometimes this endurance can help them accomplish great things and overcome obstacles on the road ahead, which is a rare and precious quality.

Of course, some programmers become bad-tempered because they can't slack off. They are destined to be losers and never achieve great things.

I looked at the bandage on my arm and thought with disdain.

About the author: Xiaojieweidao (xjjdog), a public account that does not allow programmers to take detours. Focusing on infrastructure and Linux. Ten years of architecture, hundreds of billions of daily traffic, discussing the high-concurrency world with you, giving you a different taste. My personal WeChat is xjjdog0, welcome to add friends for further communication.